She thought about the idea of what it was for one to be secure in their own feelings.
In the self, in substance, in the external.
She soon rejected this idea and thought to herself it's all good knowing exactly how you feel, to be objective about things. It would be like having this impenetrable security blanket of the mind that would block out all the horrible things, those niggling little questions. The what-ifs.
She looked out in front of her, musing on what had just crossed her mind and decided that such security also had the unfortunate capacity to block out the bigger picture. She didn't want that. At least, she thought she didn't. I'd rather be a little uncertain things, she thought. 
Though the desire to be able to have a firm belief in something did appeal to her at times. In fact it was something that she thought she had acquired as a child, naturally, from what she had seen from her parents but now it was lost somewhere. She hadn't a clue where and she didn't care much for it either. 
No, she decided against what she thought was only false hope.